Day 12. Second Sunday of Lent: March 4

Day 12. Second Sunday of Lent: March 4 Today, instead of watching TV or listening to music I will try to spend some time in silence. I will listen instead of talking. I will listen to the birds, to the sound of my own breath, and to the sound of the wind in the trees. What else do you hear? Can you hear God speaking to you in a gentle and loving way? Jesus spent a lot of time in silence listening to his father, so you know it’s a good thing to try!

I must admit this task frightens me. I do not care for silence anymore. When I was a child I used to relish the quiet times. I would climb up into the old tree house and listen to the birds and feel the sun on my face. I liked to stand in the wind as it blew my long hair up to the heavens and sucked my breath away. I would dance in the rain and cheer the lightening as it zipped through the sky. I remember how it was when I could be left alone with my thoughts and listen to the wind in the trees... but now, I don't hear peaceful things in my head anymore. The voices that speak to me now are angry, confused, and full of desperation. Silence now, instead of bringing peace, conjures images of the dead and feelings of eternal helplessness. Voices from the media shout out loudly to me in silence. I hear the cries of beautiful children being killed by their parents. I feel the pain of the families who realize it was their child who murdered another. I worry for the unknown victims as I hear of their struggles with illness, addictions, or natural disasters. In silence, I pray. I pray that everyone can get along. I pray that if God is going to come again to this earth that he get a move on and do it already, because all the hate and violence that humans inflict on each other pain me so much that some days it is almost unbearable. No. Silence to me is just swirls of anxiety shooting forth out of the darkness, releasing dementors, who lie in wait within the silence to pounce like a wolf upon a limping elk. No. I do not care for silence. Today, I will watch a lot of TV.  I will play games on the computer. I will knit while listening to my i-pod, and I will drive with the radio turned up LOUD.  Probably all the way to 11.