Slump

hi.  I know I haven't posted for a while, I am seriously in a slump. A few months back (ok maybe a year or more) Ashes gave me an awesome gift of a photography book. This book described not the "how" of photography, but talked about the "why." It delves into why people take pictures. What is it they are trying to say? What is the message they want to leave behind with the taking of that image at that moment? I have read this book a few times and now and I love it. It has made me think of the purpose of photography and I try to get more meaning out of my images. Today, however, it reminds me of  how I am stuck. I have soooo many thoughts rolling through my brain that the background noise is leaving me crippled, and I realize I haven't taken pictures just for me for a while because I truly have nothing to say. I don't have any message I want to leave with any one. I just don't really care if I have anything to say or if I have anyone to say it too. My creative voice is gone. Muse is missing. I know I am the play maker in my family. I know that if anything happens around here it is because I am the one to make it happen. I know that I must make all the changes needed before depression and anxiety consume my little family and full on destroy us. On one hand I want to make sure everyone has clean clothes, and good grades and is exercising, and eating right, and I will take lots of pictures, and I will make them all look like Natalie Norton's, and I will clean the house, and plan all the girl scout activities for 3 of the 5 age groups, and sew on all the badges, and pack the lunches, and refill the prescriptions, and pay the bills, and do the shopping, and play with the dog, and I will make everyone's life sunny and bright, and  I won't mind when I get growled at, or yelled at or flat out  ignored.  Today, I am tired of fighting.  Today, I just don't give a %$#@. Thank you for listening to my tirade. I am going to go take a nap. :-)